Why do people insist on calling
well-rehearsed and fully expected events accidents?
“It is not my fault. It just happened.”
Good Morning Crew:
From a small book that is distributed by the
Driving on
The general rules for most part of drivers are don’t give any way to anything, don’t overtake unless it’s a
blind bend, and don’t any notice of road signs.
The conditions of the road network are not good. So be careful if you think of driving a car,
motorbike or scooter. Please drive
carefully and slowly. Roads are narrow
and deteriorate quickly over the summer.
Hoot on corners.
Travelling
around the Internet is a similar piece explaining driving in
Driving in
First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is
Next, if your Maspco is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy a new one.
If in
Forget
the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.
"Hold on and pray".
There
is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in
All directions start with, "Get on Beltline"... which has no beginning and no end. (It REALLY DOESN'T!!!)
The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, look-out!!!
When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid crashing with all the drivers running the red light in cross-traffic.
Construction on Central Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
In fact, we had sooo much fun with that, we have added George Bush Freeway and the High Five to the mix.
All
unexplained sights are explained by the phrase,
"Oh, we're in
If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.
All old ladies with blue hair in Luxury Sedans of any age, have the right of way. PERIOD!
Inwood Road,
The
perfect example is what is MOSTLY known as
The
North Dallas Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR.
It also ends somewhere in
LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."
If
asking directions in
If in
central
A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75.
The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.
It is
possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of
If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, (and it's Spring) the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round - ( if it's Fall) It must be the Texas State Fair.
If
you go to the Fair, pay the $10.00 to park
The
Final Warning: Don't Mess With
This
season just passed, a Turk explained the rules for driving in
The long and the short is the history books will call these times The Age of Irresponsibility – a time when there was a scientific, physiological, psychological, or pathological excuse for everything that went wrong. It is not my fault! Psychobabble doth prevail.
Prepare to Jibe,
Fred and Phyl
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